Woow where to begin.....



Well... i dont know...You ever wonder how you effect people around you? do you ever wonder...how people think of you how they treat you? i have...things have been coming to haunt me now....you ever get one of those things where you see something and it triggers a memory? ive had those 2....I have been ver depressed latley but i dont let anyone see it? why? because the world isnt going to stop because luke feels all sad and empty inside...the world isnt going to stop because you are in agozing pain every single day of your life.....people think oh its okay turn that frown upside down!..... life doesnt work that way....ive been regretting alot of things i have done....and alot of things done to me....thne it puzzles me why have i become so cold? why is it that i keep people at a distance and dont tel them whats wrong? because in the end all you have is yourself...Thats all you can depend on nowadays....there was a time when i was happy go lucky there was a time where i was me. But now i am not....If you read my poems the yare not happy poems... mnost of them...i use writing as an excuse to keep my mind off of reality....and it does show...Its funny cuase not even my parents know whats wrong....they care....i just dont want to tell them cuase i think that they dont need to know...Depressed as i am i go about my day like any normal person would but at the end of the day who really has a normal life? Here i am a 16 year old teenager and my spirit feels like that of an 80 year old person weary and alone....eve nnow as i am typing this up i am not fully telling you the truth i am just giving you a brief sumary...its like i have become alienated from sociaty even though i really asm not...i chose to be an exile only because...i must....And when you fdo they immedialtly label you as the "Emo" kid it pisses me off because that is not what i am.. All of my Watchers know the typesof poems i write....it isnt hard for you to figure out that life isnt easy...Jolie told me my poems and writing makes people see themselves....and what they have become...makes you think about life...I dont know if that is true...My "Best Friend" shomien tried to cheer me up....sure i made her seem that i was actually cheered up...but i am not...i just wanted her to be happy so she wont see what lies within....So the fact of the matter is i let no one in...not even my own cuzzen knows about me well...they think they do but they dont...and for those sypithyers your sympathy is fake inside they mock you and tease you....i have seen what people are....i see it everyday....when you dad says you have been changing with us then you realize you have become an exile......so here you go thats it......